I wish the English language had a word for the crazy, overwhelming kind of love that I have for her. There's just no way to put it into words though, when I try, all I come up with are tears, the happiest kind.
01.05.13
01.06.13
01.10.13
01.11.13
I'm sitting here on the couch, with my daughter in my arms, typing this one handed. They should tell you how many things you really can do with just one hand, but apparently it takes becoming a parent...or a dismembering accident to really find that out. Take your pick.
Harper Ellison has been alive and kickin' for 14 days, it seems like so much more and less than that, which makes no sense,clearly. What I mean is, it's really hard for me to picture my life prior to her, I'm well aware of the fact that I should have a clear remembrance of what my life consisted of 14 days ago. I know. It just feels like I've always had her, like I've been waking up every 2 hours to feed,change and just stare this human being, forever. And at the same time, she just seems so new. I want her to stay new. Everyday that passes I feel a little tiny selfish twinge of sadness because everyday that comes, she needs me a little bit less than she did the day before. I told you it was selfish.So regardless of the "words of wisdom" from other, more seasoned and experienced parents, I hold my baby when I want to hold her (pretty much 24/7), I kiss her too much, I take atleast 70 photos of her a day, We sleep with her in our bed, I lie awake all day and night, even when she's sleeping just to watch her breathe. And it will never be enough. I mean, who knows if I'll get to do any of this again, right? I made this amazing little being from scratch. I don't want to miss anything. And plus, she smells AMAZING!
She is just so unbelievably, beautifully, perfect. I will never know how I got so lucky, really.
Hey Harper,
Thank you for picking us, thank you for picking me.
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou,
Mama
01.08.13
